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1. IMPORTANCE OF HUGGING AND KISSING IN MARRIAGE

IMPORTANCE OF HUGGING AND KISSING IN A MARRIAGE

We’ve personally experienced how powerful a hug can be for healing, and science agrees! Studies show that regular hugs from your spouse or loved one can actually lower blood pressure, which directly supports heart health. In other words, your partner’s hugs can help keep your heart strong. If you or your spouse are dealing with heart-related issues, it may be worth having an honest talk about hugging more often. It may sound small, but a simple hug has the power to lift your mood and brighten your whole day.

Hugging is Healing

You probably don’t even need to discuss this one—just go ahead and do it! Hugging, kissing, and showing affection in your marriage is not only enjoyable but also truly healing—and science backs it up. Mental health expert Stacey Ross has seen remarkable changes in clients struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, and addiction when they received gentle, caring touch. She explains that such touch can remind the brain what it feels like to be safe and loved. This isn’t just emotional comfort—it’s neurological. Research shows that repeated positive touch reshapes brain pathways, helping to repair stress responses and strengthen emotional regulation. Over time, affectionate contact can actually rewire the brain toward greater healing and resilience. Best of all, this “treatment” doesn’t require medicine, equipment, or training—just love expressed through touch. So, here’s the simple prescription: hug often! And don’t shy away from letting your children see appropriate affection between you and your spouse. The benefits extend to them too.

The Benefits of Kissing and Hugging

Dr. Debbie L. Cherry emphasizes the vital role affection plays in both marriage and parenting. She explains, “One of the best things any of us can do for our children is to provide them with a strong marital model. Children need to know that their parents love not only them, but also each other. The child’s sense of security grows as he/she sees parents loving each other. To put your marriage on hold for 18 or more years while you raise the children is not only detrimental to the marriage, it’s devastating to the children.”

She further warns that when the bond between parents weakens, children suffer the most: “When the parental team breaks down and begins to disintegrate, the children become the biggest losers. When children don’t feel secure, their whole world seems to unravel. No amount of baseball, dance, piano lessons, or toys can make up for that kind of loss.” This shows that simple acts of affection like hugging and kissing are not just for the couple’s well-being—they provide children with a foundation of security, love, and stability.

Showing Children Marital Love

When Christian couples openly show love for one another, they not only strengthen their own marriage but also provide a powerful witness to their children—and even to other children—of how God’s love can be reflected in a healthy marriage. Dr. Debbie L. Cherry reminds parents to be mindful of the message they send through their actions: “If you are always pushing your spouse aside for time with the children, you may want to consider just what you’re teaching your children. By the way you treat your spouse, are you modeling for your children how you hope they will treat their future spouses? Probably not. Spending time with your spouse not only draws the two of you closer together, but it also teaches your children that the marital relationship has to be our number one human relationship.”

Dr. Kevin Leman also cautions couples against centering their entire home around the children: “When I say, ‘don’t make your children the centerpiece of your home,’ some couples react pretty strongly. They ask, ‘Well, why not?’ Here’s my answer: You don’t do it because it gives them the idea that they’re the centerpieces of the universe. And if that’s true, then where is Almighty God? And where are other people? Doesn’t this breed the kind of permissiveness and selfishness that we see in so many homes?”

Making love in your marriage a top priority blesses your relationship, your family, and everyone who sees your example. And as Amberly Lambertsen points out, even if affection doesn’t come naturally, “you can find a way to give those meaningful touches without feeling smothered or getting irritated. Remember that ‘touch signals safety and trust’, two things that are a want and a need in marriage. Being intentional and making physical touch a priority, no matter your love language will benefit both of you individually and your marriage as a whole.”

The Bible reminds us to “live a life of love,” so we encourage you to do just that—love well, love intentionally, and don’t forget to hug and kiss your spouse often! (Cindy and Steve Wright).

At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, our skilled Marriage and Family Therapists will guide you in rekindling and retaining intimacy in your relationship through the simple yet powerful acts of touch, kissing, and hugging. These small expressions of love build safety, trust, and connection, helping couples strengthen their bond and keep their marriages thriving.

Call/WhatsApp us at *+254721240462/+254733932470* or email us at info@givinghope.co.ke to book a counselling session. Also visit the blog on our website www.givinghope.co.ke for similar articles.

Peter Mugi Kuruga

Counselling Psychologist/Marriage and Family Therapist