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1. THE GREEN FLAGS THAT SIGNIFY THE START OF GREAT RELATIONSHIPS

*THE GREEN FLAGS THAT SIGNIFY THE START OF GREAT RELATIONSHIPS*

We often focus on what goes wrong in relationships or on the “red flags” to avoid. But what about the qualities that make a relationship strong and lasting? Yes, it’s important to recognize toxic behaviors when dating—such as ghosting, gaslighting, or love-bombing—but it’s equally valuable to notice the positive signs. Your partner may already be showing behaviors that reflect emotional maturity and genuine commitment. These “green flags” suggest that your relationship has the potential to grow into a stable, secure, long-term partnership. Below are five encouraging signs that your relationship is moving in the right direction.

*You Trust One Another*

A key marker of a strong, healthy relationship is genuine trust. Your partner is dependable—they keep their word and consistently follow through. If they say they’ll pick you up, they show up and they’re punctual. This kind of reliability strengthens trust, which is essential for any romantic partnership. With this person, you feel safe not only sharing the details of your everyday life, but also opening up about your fears, hopes, and deeper emotions. This foundation of trust creates a relationship built on honesty, openness, and mutual care.

*You Respect Each Other’s Boundaries*

Because you both honor and respect each other, you don’t feel threatened when your partner spends time with friends, and they don’t become upset when you need space for yourself. Psychotherapist and coach Ivy Kwong, emphasizes the importance of understanding, expressing, and upholding your boundaries. Boundaries clarify your identity, outline what behavior you consider acceptable, and guide others on how to treat you. Openly stating your boundaries, needs, and desires with courage—and respecting those of your partner—is a clear green flag in any relationship.

*You Communicate Effectively*

If your partner is scrolling through social media while you talk, they’re not demonstrating active listening. But when they look you in the eye, give you their full attention, and genuinely want to hear about your day, that reflects respect and engagement. When they validate your feelings, show empathy, and respond with understanding, they offer emotional support—another meaningful green flag. In a healthy relationship, both people feel heard, valued, and safe sharing their inner thoughts.

As Ivy Kwong, explains, “You show respect for yourself and others when you are open and honest about what you can handle, what you cannot, and what kind of support you need.” She notes that if you don’t clearly communicate your needs, you’re unlikely to have them met, so honesty is essential.

*You Enjoy Being Together*

All relationships experience conflict or tough moments, but relationship researcher John Gottman found that strong, happy relationships maintain at least five positive interactions for every negative one. When you and your partner generally get along, share compatibility, and have far more good moments than bad ones, that’s a strong green flag. You may notice that your partner is the first person you want to tell good news to, and that they also feel like your best friend. Another positive sign is genuinely enjoying each other’s company—whether you’re out doing activities or simply relaxing together. Feeling excited to hug, kiss, or reconnect with them reflects a deep emotional bond. When sexual intimacy is part of the relationship, it often strengthens the connection even further. Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that intimate sex increases closeness and desire for both men and women, further bonding the relationship. Closeness can develop through affection, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and shared experiences. When all five green flags are present, your relationship is likely healthy, fulfilling, and capable of long-term stability.

*Your Partner Shows Appreciation*

Gratitude is another strong indicator of a positive relationship. When your partner regularly expresses appreciation for you, it strengthens emotional closeness. Research shows that when people feel valued by their partner, they become more responsive to their partner’s needs, develop deeper gratitude, and show greater loyalty over time. Gratitude doesn’t just benefit the relationship—it boosts your own happiness, too. When both partners express appreciation and recognize each other’s efforts, it creates a positive cycle that supports long-term satisfaction and connection.

At *Giving Hope Counselling Services*, we specialize in helping you recognise the “green flags” that lead to healthy, lasting love. Whether you’ve struggled with past relationships or simply want to build a stronger foundation for your future, our expert Marriage and Family Therapists will guide you in identifying the qualities that make relationships thrive—trust, respect, communication, compatibility, and gratitude. With compassionate support and evidence-based counselling, we empower you to choose partners wisely, nurture meaningful connections, and build relationships that can grow into strong, joyful, lifelong marriages. Let us walk with you toward the love you truly deserve.

Call/WhatsApp us at *+254733932470* |*+254733932470* to book a counselling session. Also visit the blog on our website www.givinghope.co.ke for more comprehensive articles on mental health, relationships and Marriages.

*Peter Mugi Kuruga*

*Counselling Psychologist* | *Marriage and Family Therapist*

*Court Annexed Mediator*